This past year has been incredibly intense. My brain is bursting to the seams with things I’ve learnt, people I’ve met and places I’ve been to.
I’ve been wondering what to do with all of it. And I don’t want to move on to the next stage of my life without figuring out where it’s all going.
Learning and doing new things has always been the best way to keep engaged and productive. But there’s something to be said about regularly putting things on hold and looking back at where you’ve been.
There’s a difference between stopping to take time off and stopping to actively examine what you’re doing. I’m trying to do the latter. I’ve been asking myself, is this really what I want to be doing right now? Is this the best way to be doing it? What else could I be doing? Why is this working? What is not working? What do I do with all I’ve learnt?
I feel a responsibility to do something with the opportunities and exposure I have had. I don’t think they were just for me to sit on and use for myself. They need to be dispersed widely and channeled productively.
I think it’s always better to have little on your plate that you do well than having a multitude of mediocre activity. Even when things are going well, it’s easy for others’ expectations to set the direction of your work. It’s very possible to be doing well, but on other peoples’ terms. That’s not quite as fulfilling as doing well on what you actually set out to do.
I don’t want to feel like life is controlling me. I want to set the pace and expectations of my own life. So I’ve decided for the next few months, that I want to stop and reflect. I’m not trying to do new things right now. I want to review, re-evaluate and re-direct. I want to work on making what’s in my hands better.
When I told a friend of mine a few months ago about my plan to reflect, he asked me a very important question- how will you reflect? I hadn’t thought about it. I’m aware that reflection isn’t just sitting down and doing nothing. There’s a method to it. It’s about determining what it is about your life you’re trying to make better and setting objectives for what you’re trying to achieve by the end of the reflective period. It could also include talking to friends, family and anyone else you feel could give you important feedback on how to be better.
It won’t be easy but here we go!
© Tessy Maritim